Many teen girls today lack confidence. In fact, even though girls are being encouraged by their teachers and families to achieve to their potential, commercial media create disturbing insecurities. The result is that teen girls are spending a large amount of time on their appearance and, thus, their academic performance and confidence are suffering.
Some Disturbing Facts
In a recent study of over 11,000 US girls aged 14-17 years, students who perceived themselves as overweight had lower academic performance than those who did not, regardless of medically defined overweight status. The perception of being overweight was a more significant determinant of academic performance than medically defined obesity.(Florin, Shults, & Stettler 2011)
According to the same study:
15% of girls stay away from school on the days they feel bad about their bodies,
13% won’t give an opinion,
5% will not go to a job interview,
3% will not go to work.
It is also a well known fact that a daughter's dissatisfaction with her weight is greater if her mother is also dissatisfied with her own weight, in spite of how much a daughter actually weighs.
So how can we as parents, grandparents, and adult friends help our teen girls?
By Being the Best Role Model!
I probably was an average role model for my daughters. However, now I am focused on changing my talk and my behavior in order to help my granddaughter grow to be a confident young woman. I have tried to adopt these 5 simple tips and am practicing them now as she is a toddler. I want this type of language and this behavior to be second nature to me as she starts entering into the early teen years.
#1 Stop Negative Self-Talk: Never talk about your own body, appearance, or anything about you in a negative way. Research has shown that when women speak negatively about their bodies and their appearance, they negatively impact those around them. Remember that what we THINK about our bodies has a strong connection to how we TREAT our bodies. Start today with a goal that you will never again say something negative about your appearance aloud, and soon the negative self-talk that floats through your mind will become less and less prevalent too.
#2 Start Positive Talk: Choose to compliment the girls and women in your life for character traits, actions or talents you admire about them. The compliments that stick with you for a lifetime are those that acknowledge your valuable qualities, like a positive attitude, perseverance, selflessness, honesty and so much more that has nothing to do with a cute outfit or a pretty face.
#3 Try Something New: Show your teen how you keep trying new activities. Openly talk about your successes and your failures. She will hear your talk and will learn that failing is just a part of life and it will teach her how to cope and deal with failure. In fact, try new activities together.
#4 Focus on Health & Fitness: Focus your talk on health and fitness. You can choose anything you want to work toward, whether that is running a mile in a set time, attending fitness classes every week, etc. Encourage your teen girl to engage in physical activity as a means for improving physical and mental health, rather than a strategy for achieving a “bikini ready body”. When you set a fitness goal and work toward it, you will find you spend less time thinking about the way your body LOOKS and more time focusing on what it can DO.
#5 Volunteer and Give to Others: Sometimes the best way to improve our self-esteem is to forget about ourselves for a while and focus on others. Get out and volunteer to help someone who needs a friend or who needs a hand with jobs around the house. Volunteering fills us with love and light that radiate from within.
Want to Know More?
Contact me for body confidence workshops or individual coaching sessions.
All the best,
Kathy
No comments:
Post a Comment